The clinic called today with the results of my day 3 ultrasound and confirming the SHG results. I had 9 antral follicles, which the nurse called "really good" for only one ovary. I'm used to having more, but I know I was younger then. For 35, is that actually good or is she trying to make me feel better?
The nurse did also confirm that the doctor wants to do a hysteroscopy to remove the polyp. She said we don't have to rush to schedule it immediately, that it can wait until after our next appointment on August 8 (we're going out of town next week, and we have the older kids the week after). I know Papa Bear and I are going to have a LOT of questions for the doctor, so I'm glad he can come to that appointment. Another reason I'm glad to have moved to a clinic closer to home. We had been talking about doing the hysteroscopy on a Thursday or Friday when we won't have the older kids that weekend so I can rest without worrying them, but we're going to have the kids every weekend in August. There's also the question of how much it will be, given the deductible issue. Overall, Papa Bear is freaking out as much as I am, if not more, and for the same reasons.
Showing posts with label testing. Show all posts
Showing posts with label testing. Show all posts
Wednesday, July 19, 2017
Wednesday, November 16, 2016
New Protocol
I had my follow up with the RE today, on CD4. Despite the fact that this last cycle didn't work, the appointment started with great news...my AMH was up from 0.87 to 1.6! Papa Bear was able to come with me this time, so he got to meet the RE and form his impression (most awkward appointment ever in his book). Since we've now had 2 Clomid cycles not work, despite 2 really good-looking follicles last month, she's switching me to Femara 5mg. Who all out there has done Femara?
No shots of any type with this cycle (especially since we'll be out of town for Thanksgiving at BD time). We will see how it goes, but it's nice to be making progress. Before leaving for the holiday, I'll have an appointment for a mid-cycle ultrasound, and we'll be able to get results from more testing for me and Papa Bear both.
For the record, I absolutely adore the phlebotomist at this clinic!!!! I have a HUGE needle phobia, but she has now stuck me twice without me wanting to cry, even with my vein not cooperating today!
No shots of any type with this cycle (especially since we'll be out of town for Thanksgiving at BD time). We will see how it goes, but it's nice to be making progress. Before leaving for the holiday, I'll have an appointment for a mid-cycle ultrasound, and we'll be able to get results from more testing for me and Papa Bear both.
For the record, I absolutely adore the phlebotomist at this clinic!!!! I have a HUGE needle phobia, but she has now stuck me twice without me wanting to cry, even with my vein not cooperating today!
Thursday, September 22, 2016
One Small Step
This is a really weird post to write. I thought about writing it last night, but I didn't have the emotional energy to be able to. I still can't believe I'm here.
I took my first pill of Clomid yesterday. That puts me farther in some ways on the fertility journey than I've ever been before. My ex and I had prepared to do IVF, but one thing after another kept getting in the way right before we could start the first shot. So I have never actually taken a fertility medication before yesterday. I've had a box of medications and syringes on my dining table for months on end before, but until yesterday I had never gotten to take a dose.
I almost didn't get this far. I almost got stopped again right before I was going to be able to TRY something instead of sitting on the sidelines waiting for my turn. My AMH level came back over the weekend and, because the doctor was in surgery on Monday, did not get read until late in the day Tuesday (my day 2, when I was to start Clomid on day 3). The nurse had called me, but I wasn't able to call back before 5 because I was with a client. She left the message that she needed to talk to me. So of course I was panicking all night Tuesday night, and I was right to. Yesterday morning, the nurse called to tell me that my AMH was 0.87. According to the website I had been looking at, "low normal" is 0.7-0.9 and "normal" is 1.0 and above, although it said there was disagreement about where the borders between categories really should be.
Through the nurse, the doctor first said that he was not going to prescribe the Clomid and that I should see an RE. I completely broke down sobbing on the phone with the nurse because I was pretty damn sure that there was no way we could see an RE this calendar year, between leave for Papa Bear (especially with his boss about to go out on paternity leave) and the question of whether appointments would even be covered, even with an endometriosis diagnosis. And all the while that we can't get in, months and cycles are ticking away. We had to wait months to be able to afford the HSG before having a chance to try, months of eggs dropping away unused, and now it was going to be even longer, making my ovarian reserve worse!
I was lucky that the client I was on my way to see canceled, so I went to church to talk to one of the pastors. Just before the pastor prayed over me, my phone rang, but I let it go to voicemail. As I left church, I checked my voicemail, and it was the nurse. She said that she talked to the doctor again and reminded him that we really couldn't go see the RE, and he decided to write the Clomid anyway. He said that he did not think our chances were good, so he would rather we work through the RE for their expertise. But since we can't, he's at least going to let us try. We also have estrogen for days 8-12 and progesterone pills for after day 18.
Papa Bear asked me how I felt after taking the first pill yesterday. I didn't really know what to say. I didn't feel bad, but I was afraid to feel good. The best description we could come up with between us for how I felt was "guarded."
We're trying to get information on what is and is not covered (after our massive deductible, of course) if we can see an RE. The first answers we have on that raise some questions for us, and especially Papa Bear to address. It turns out that IVF is covered at 80% (which a lifetime max benefit of $2000, so it's like they pretend to cover IVF and really don't give a fuck), but IUI is not covered at all. Papa Bear is Catholic. IVF isn't allowed by the Catholic church. Amusingly, IUI is, but only if the sperm is gathered from a condom after sex. That could make getting samples in the little room at the clinic interesting, since even if we can't do IUI, there's still the testing for him that the clinic will want.
So yeah, it's been a weird couple of days.
I took my first pill of Clomid yesterday. That puts me farther in some ways on the fertility journey than I've ever been before. My ex and I had prepared to do IVF, but one thing after another kept getting in the way right before we could start the first shot. So I have never actually taken a fertility medication before yesterday. I've had a box of medications and syringes on my dining table for months on end before, but until yesterday I had never gotten to take a dose.
I almost didn't get this far. I almost got stopped again right before I was going to be able to TRY something instead of sitting on the sidelines waiting for my turn. My AMH level came back over the weekend and, because the doctor was in surgery on Monday, did not get read until late in the day Tuesday (my day 2, when I was to start Clomid on day 3). The nurse had called me, but I wasn't able to call back before 5 because I was with a client. She left the message that she needed to talk to me. So of course I was panicking all night Tuesday night, and I was right to. Yesterday morning, the nurse called to tell me that my AMH was 0.87. According to the website I had been looking at, "low normal" is 0.7-0.9 and "normal" is 1.0 and above, although it said there was disagreement about where the borders between categories really should be.
Through the nurse, the doctor first said that he was not going to prescribe the Clomid and that I should see an RE. I completely broke down sobbing on the phone with the nurse because I was pretty damn sure that there was no way we could see an RE this calendar year, between leave for Papa Bear (especially with his boss about to go out on paternity leave) and the question of whether appointments would even be covered, even with an endometriosis diagnosis. And all the while that we can't get in, months and cycles are ticking away. We had to wait months to be able to afford the HSG before having a chance to try, months of eggs dropping away unused, and now it was going to be even longer, making my ovarian reserve worse!
I was lucky that the client I was on my way to see canceled, so I went to church to talk to one of the pastors. Just before the pastor prayed over me, my phone rang, but I let it go to voicemail. As I left church, I checked my voicemail, and it was the nurse. She said that she talked to the doctor again and reminded him that we really couldn't go see the RE, and he decided to write the Clomid anyway. He said that he did not think our chances were good, so he would rather we work through the RE for their expertise. But since we can't, he's at least going to let us try. We also have estrogen for days 8-12 and progesterone pills for after day 18.
Papa Bear asked me how I felt after taking the first pill yesterday. I didn't really know what to say. I didn't feel bad, but I was afraid to feel good. The best description we could come up with between us for how I felt was "guarded."
We're trying to get information on what is and is not covered (after our massive deductible, of course) if we can see an RE. The first answers we have on that raise some questions for us, and especially Papa Bear to address. It turns out that IVF is covered at 80% (which a lifetime max benefit of $2000, so it's like they pretend to cover IVF and really don't give a fuck), but IUI is not covered at all. Papa Bear is Catholic. IVF isn't allowed by the Catholic church. Amusingly, IUI is, but only if the sperm is gathered from a condom after sex. That could make getting samples in the little room at the clinic interesting, since even if we can't do IUI, there's still the testing for him that the clinic will want.
So yeah, it's been a weird couple of days.
Tuesday, August 30, 2016
Sped-Up Alphabet Soup
Turns out that with my CD1 being on a Thursday and the clinic only doing HSGs on Wednesdays, they want to do it tomorrow instead of next Wednesday. So it has been a mad rush trying to get the right form sent in by my doctor and get the antibiotic called in and picked up and the insurance information in. And now I find out that I have to pay for it tomorrow rather than being able to have a little spare time while they ran it through insurance, since there's still thousands of dollars left on our deductible. I was hoping to be paying it AFTER rent was paid; I just felt more comfortable that way. So much for that.
And now I'm scared. Scared that the pain will be worse than I remember. Scared that it will be bad enough that I won't feel up to orchestra rehearsal that night. Scared of even getting there on time because I had to put in a client appointment at noon when I have to be there at 1:45 and the clinic is an hour away from my office. And scared of what they will find. Scared that my other tube is broken too. Scared that I'm going to need more surgery to "fix" the endometriosis. Scared that even with more surgery my tube won't be salvageable. Just, scared. I found myself crying as I was driving today. I don't remember being scared before my last one, but before that one I was so desperate for answers. Now I have enough answers to know that having more answers may hurt more than it helps.
And now I'm scared. Scared that the pain will be worse than I remember. Scared that it will be bad enough that I won't feel up to orchestra rehearsal that night. Scared of even getting there on time because I had to put in a client appointment at noon when I have to be there at 1:45 and the clinic is an hour away from my office. And scared of what they will find. Scared that my other tube is broken too. Scared that I'm going to need more surgery to "fix" the endometriosis. Scared that even with more surgery my tube won't be salvageable. Just, scared. I found myself crying as I was driving today. I don't remember being scared before my last one, but before that one I was so desperate for answers. Now I have enough answers to know that having more answers may hurt more than it helps.
Thursday, August 25, 2016
Alphabet Soup
Today is essentially day 1, since it started late in the evening yesterday. Last night was pretty miserable. I kinda just sat there like a lump after the kids were in bed with random tears rolling down my face at random times. And today I had a random weird cramp that I've never had before, where the pain radiated down to my big toe.
But the one good thing about day 1 is that it meant I could call GRS (the big local fertility clinic) to schedule my HSG. I got voice mail on the scheduling line and they never called back, so I need to call again tomorrow, but at least we're in the cycle where I can get it done. It looks like it will be on September 7, since that clinic only does them on Wednesdays.
One thing that I'm scared of now, though, is the possibility of the dye flinging endometrial cells around my abdomen in the process of finding out whether my remaining tube is plugged. I have no idea whether that's a reasonable fear or not.
But the one good thing about day 1 is that it meant I could call GRS (the big local fertility clinic) to schedule my HSG. I got voice mail on the scheduling line and they never called back, so I need to call again tomorrow, but at least we're in the cycle where I can get it done. It looks like it will be on September 7, since that clinic only does them on Wednesdays.
One thing that I'm scared of now, though, is the possibility of the dye flinging endometrial cells around my abdomen in the process of finding out whether my remaining tube is plugged. I have no idea whether that's a reasonable fear or not.
Thursday, July 07, 2016
Answers and Questions
Well, I don't have fibroids, at least. I hadn't been sure how to feel at first, because at least it would have been an answer, but Papa Bear had pointed out the possible complications from fibroids and I felt better about not having them. That still leaves no real answers about the extent of my current...experience, though, because it's symptoms beyond what is expected with endo. Best guess is hormone changes, but apparently there's not really much of any research on hormones in people who lose an ovary.
The answer about the fibroids was mostly washed away by the whole nightmare experience of the ultrasound, though. The last time I was lying on that table, I was being told that my baby no longer had a heartbeat. To make it worse, it was the same tech, and she didn't remember that fact until Papa Bear reminded her. She didn't even see in my chart about what happened last year, so she was asking me about why I didn't have a right ovary. At least the doctor said they have 2 ultrasound techs at this point, so if I get that far, I can ask for the other one.
Since I don't have fibroids, getting that far now looks to rest on Clomid. The doctor still wants me to get an HSG to make sure my remaining tube is clear, and it looks like we'll be doing that in September. Provided it's clear (or gets clear from the dye going through), we'll start Clomid after that. One thing we're not sure of is how much of a real LH surge I'm having to even trigger ovulation, since last month I had the line on the OPK get darker than it had been but not darker than the control line. But the doctor said if that's what's wrong, Clomid will help.
He did also say that Clomid tends to make people feel cranky and have less energy. For those who have tried it, what has your experience been?
The answer about the fibroids was mostly washed away by the whole nightmare experience of the ultrasound, though. The last time I was lying on that table, I was being told that my baby no longer had a heartbeat. To make it worse, it was the same tech, and she didn't remember that fact until Papa Bear reminded her. She didn't even see in my chart about what happened last year, so she was asking me about why I didn't have a right ovary. At least the doctor said they have 2 ultrasound techs at this point, so if I get that far, I can ask for the other one.
Since I don't have fibroids, getting that far now looks to rest on Clomid. The doctor still wants me to get an HSG to make sure my remaining tube is clear, and it looks like we'll be doing that in September. Provided it's clear (or gets clear from the dye going through), we'll start Clomid after that. One thing we're not sure of is how much of a real LH surge I'm having to even trigger ovulation, since last month I had the line on the OPK get darker than it had been but not darker than the control line. But the doctor said if that's what's wrong, Clomid will help.
He did also say that Clomid tends to make people feel cranky and have less energy. For those who have tried it, what has your experience been?
Wednesday, July 06, 2016
Now What?
I was stupid. I thought maybe I was having symptoms of implantation. I should have known better. Instead, today I got CD1, a good 5 days early. I guess the one thing I can do right is not have it interfere with being at the beach next week?
The complicating factor aside from hating myself for letting myself hope is that tomorrow is my ultrasound to see if there are any fibroids causing problems. Supposedly the ultrasound can be done at any time during the cycle, but when I called the office today, they said that it would be better if it wasn't a heavy flow. She also said that if I had to reschedule, it would be several weeks before there would be another opening (because of the need for the doctor and the ultrasound tech to be there on the same day). Hopefully it will be light enough by then? I want to get some damned answers finally!!!
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