Several people have asked or said they were wondering about why I haven't touched this blog in over a month. There are a couple of reasons, and one I won't be getting into tonight but will later.
The other is that I found out last month that apparently most of my friends roll their eyes if this blog is mentioned, and I'm still trying to decide what to do about that. I've debated keeping everything the same, killing the blog entirely, keeping the blog and killing the Facebook page for it, and making the blog completely private.
Over the past week and a half, I've had absolutely no feelings at all, no matter what, and it seems like the world is better off when it's that way. After all, at this point, DH can't handle my feelings (when I have them) and my friends don't want to. That's not entirely across the board; I do have a couple of friends who have shown in the past month that they care and are willing to listen. But overall I get the impression that almost everyone is sick of me and just wants me to shut up and deal without bothering them.
One of my friends, who recently conceived after 43 months of trying, told me that she had felt the need at one point to say on her blog, "If you don't like what I write, quit reading." Like I said, I haven't decided what exactly I'm going to do about this blog or how much I'm still going to use it. For whatever ends up being here, though, if you don't want to hear about how I feel about this, please just leave it alone. If you feel comfortable telling me you don't want to hear about it, I'd appreciate it so that I know not to talk to you about it at all. If not, I can understand that, just bear in mind that I won't know not to talk to you, so you might hear me talking about it in person or over some form of instant messaging.
I'm going to have to agree with your friend. If people don't want to hear it, they can stop reading. Keep doing whatever you need to to get through this. But, if keeping the blog is causing you stress, feel free to stop or make it private. Don't worry about others. This is all about you.
ReplyDeleteI started my blog so I could vent about IF stuff that I feel like people IRL probably get tired of hearing. I figure its like your friend says, if nobody wants to read about it they don't have to. Its up to them, but I can still get whatever is weighing me down off my chest.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you're having a hard time. Sometimes other people don't realize how consuming IF is. Maybe it makes them uncomfortable because they don't know what to say. Or maybe its some other reason... I don't know. But for what its worth, I enjoy reading your blog. So if you decide to keep writing, I'll keep reading.
I'm sorry you've felt negativity from people about the blog.
ReplyDeleteThis is your space. To write whatever you want, if writing helps, you should continue. If you feel like you are being censored, you can always go private, we will follow :)
It just blows my mind that people aren't being more supportive. This is your space, for you, for those who support you, and for other people going through the same thing. Don't stress about people who don't get it and let them take this from you. [hugs]
ReplyDeleteSo if there is one thing I know well and I own well is being an Epic Failure. You are not an Epic Failure. If you need it I will leave my phone on the highest setting where it cautions me about damaging my hearing, on my bookcase in my bedroom. And if you ever want me to be that person for you that you are to me, I will do that for you without question. But I warn you, I'm new at this and I might not comment much, I might just listen. I love you.
ReplyDelete