Monday, April 25, 2016

#MicroblogMondays: What's in a Name?

Not sure what #MicroblogMondays is?Read the inaugural post which explains the idea and how you can participate too.

My son's first word, at almost 6 months old, was "Mama."  He didn't say it again for a while, and then it was all "Dada, dada, dada" for another while before "Mama" came back into play, but anytime he did refer to me as anything, it was "Mama" and then "Mommy."  Over the past month or two, though, he's started calling me "Jessie."  I try to teach him to say and sign "Mommy," and sometimes it works, but other times I spend what feels like forever repeating "Mommy" while he responds with "Jessie." As a stepparent, I would never ask the older kids to refer to me by a name they don't feel comfortable with, and I would never try to supplant their mother.  At the same time, this side effect of that really hurts.  I worked so hard and went through so much to be able to actually be Mommy to someone, and even while I know how and why it's happening, it still feels like that is being diluted.

(I am really glad that my husband understands how I feel and why and does what he can to reinforce "Mommy" with my son)

7 comments:

  1. Ouch. I can see why this hurts.
    But to take another side - I'm the oldest child of 4, and I called my mom by her first name. Not sure why, but probably similar to your son in that everyone else used that name. All my siblings followed. And we loved her dearly and she was most definitely our mom, not replaceable by anyone. So if you can't convince him to say Mommy... try to remember that this doesn't change his feelings.

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  2. Consider To Kill A Mockingbird, both of his children call their father Atticus which in no way conveys a lack of love and respect. They just thought how everyone else calls him Atticus, that's what they should do.

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  3. That is so hard, especially because if you show a reaction, they just do it more. Hope it's a stage he grows out of soon.

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  4. feeling your pain, and hoping your son grows out of this stage.

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  5. I agree with Mel -- I hope it's a stage, and with all the reinforcing he'll go back to Mommy soon. I can only imagine how that would feel, and what I imagine doesn't feel good. Even if calling you by your first name doesn't have to mean a lesser love or respect, I hope for lots more Mommy in the future.

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  6. My daughter thinks that it is hilarious to call me by my name or my husband by his name (usually after we yell for one another when the other person is in another room). But we definitely reinforce Mommy and Daddy whenever possible.

    I can definitely see how this would hurt. Just try not to react (if possible).

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  7. He's still a baby. He's probably just repeating what he hears other people saying. It shows he's perceptive of what's going on around him. Not to make light of it but wait until he's a teenager. "Jessie" might be the nicest thing he ever calls you... Hang in there!

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