Thursday, October 28, 2010

I know I haven't been on for more than a second or two lately.  My life has been blowing up big time in ways completely unrelated to the infertility.  It's been significant enough that DH and I decided not to even try this month, which I definitely have mixed emotions about even though I know it was the right thing to do.

My friend J was visiting a couple of weeks ago, and he and DH were talking to each other, concerned about how bad the effect on me would be if I got pregnant and then had a miscarriage.  Later that night, everything went to hell.  The week after that was when I was scheduled to ovulate.  Because the stress and issues from everything blowing up were sure to continue for much of the next week, DH and I agreed that the risk of a miscarriage from stress would be significantly higher this month than any other, so we decided not to try.

I've gotten the advice before that maybe DH and I should just stop trying, or that we should take a few months off from trying.  We've been told that when we stop trying is when it will happen.  Which, for the record, seriously pisses me off.  That's not what we're doing.  We're looking at the specific circumstances of this month and deciding not to try this time, just the same as if one of us had pneumonia with a high fever at the fertile time of the month.  It frustrates me to have this be the best course of action for this month, especially since I know that we only have, at best, 13 chances in a year (52/4 is 13, not 12, after all).  At the same time, I know deep down that it is the best course of action and that a miscarriage is just NOT something I can handle until things settle down at least a little bit.  J was calling it a wise decision, and I agree with that assessment...but I still don't have to like it.

I have more I want to post about, but that will have to come later. 

PS. I talked with my one PG friend a couple of weeks ago, and we're ok.  We're as much on the same page as we can be, given the different perspectives that we're coming from.  That's a huge relief, because I value her friendship and her as a person very much.  Like I told her, I knew we needed to talk, but I had no idea how to start the conversation.


  1. I understand how you feel about not trying. Even when you're "not trying" you are. The trick is to relax and have fun, which is way harder than it sounds. Hang in there.

  2. So sorry things have gone crazy. I hated my 'off' cycles so much but if you feel it's the right decision it probably is. Can't wait for more updates :)

  3. I'm not planning at this point on taking any more cycles off. Even though I knew it was the right thing to do, it still hurt, and it especially does now as I start a new cycle and look back at a wasted one.