In my continuing quest to survive, I took a couple steps tonight to try to care for my mental health. I went to the psychiatrist to get my Zoloft raised, and I had an intake with a faith-based counselor. Most of the intake was, of course, giving her background about what's been going on. We did talk some about coping strategies that I've already tried and about my difficulty with taking care of myself instead of others.
Part of my difficulty with this stems from how much need there is in the world. Yes, that's the social worker in me coming out, and yes, I know that I can't help everyone in the world. But I do believe that I should make up for the fact that I can't help everyone in the world by helping everyone I can. After all, imagine if everyone did that!
Part of the difficulty also comes from the fact that I often enjoy doing things for others, whether it's because the activity is something I enjoy doing or because the people involved are people I enjoy spending time with. It seems like recreation to me to be doing things for others, at least some of the time. However, I'm ending up in a situation where I'm doing so many things for others that there's at least one activity that I want to make time for, but I've been having trouble carving the time out.
I don't really know where this post is going, aside from to say that I'm trying to find ways to take care of myself. I'm having to be creative, though, because most of the traditional coping skills aren't doing jack.
I don't know if this would help because it may be too abstract of a concept. Would it help to think that if you are taking care of yourself, you are doing something to help your, as of yet, un-conceived baby? That may seem hard because you're not directly helping someone, but you would be. It might be a little mind game you can play with yourself to take better care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteI can certainly give it a try and see if it helps. Part of what makes it hard is that that requires the belief that I will actually have a baby inside me ever.
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