I've been thinking over the past couple of days about things that I'd like to be able to do within APO. And when I think about it, I get frustrated about how the infertility screws that up. I hate not being able to think about things more than 9-12 months in advance. The only reason I can even think 12 months in advance right now is because I know we can't afford to try IVF until the spring. Still, depending on what happens when in the spring, I don't know if I'll even be able to fly to get to the convention at the end of 2012 in Anaheim.
Ever since I stopped having the year-long elected position I used to have, I've been working on one project and then another. I've been trying to put things together to keep me busy and give me chances to both develop my skills and see my friends. The one advantage that I have right now is that anything new I start doing at this point would end before we could have a baby or right when it would happen since things reset at every convention. Still, when I think about things I might like to do after a year from now, I don't know whether to think of them as possibilities or as something to think about doing someday, and that's frustrating.
I can so relate. Fertility treatments take over your life. It's so hard to plan. But I keep telling myself that one day it will all be worth it!
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