So, I was sleeping in this morning, just got up about 10 minutes ago, and only got up then because I have a wedding to be at in 45 minutes. I love sleeping in. I hate mornings, and I like my days to start at the crack of noon whenever possible. I enjoy and relish in my morning sleep when I can have it. This morning, though, part of me wishes that I had needed to get up earlier, because then I wouldn't have had the dream I did.
I dreamed I got a BFP. In the dream, I just tested for the hell of it, because I had a test that was about to expire. I wasn't expecting anything because, like in real life, we weren't officially trying or doing treatments or anything. But I got a BFP. I was thrilled at first, of course, but then I started getting REALLY frightened about the possibility of a miscarriage. I got as far as thinking of how hard it would be to not tell people, and then the dream changed to something else.
Even though I didn't wake up directly from that dream, it still HURT to wake up, remember the dream, and know that it was just a dream that has a high chance of never coming true. Serves me right for sleeping in when there's things I could/should be doing.
I really disagree! I happen to know that you work so very hard all the time & do tons of things for tons of people all the time. The very least that you deserve is to get to sleep in sometimes!!! As far as the dream - most dreams are lessons we aren't paying attention to during waking hours. There was a reason for your dream. I just don't know what. But it certainly wasn't punishment! God & the universe aren't punishing you for anything & they certainly aren't withholding a baby as punishment. It doesn't work that way & I certainly know you to be very worthy, more so than most, of becoming a mother. I don't know the reason. I wish I did, could solve this for you. With all my heart! But you are not the reason you don't have a baby, & neither is D. I know that for sure.
ReplyDeleteOh sweetie. I hope you get your BFP someday. Hopefully soon. Life is not fair that is for certain. Hang in there!
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