I was reading another blog post today, and it made me think about mine. Amazing how this whole blogging community thing works, isn't it? :-p Anyway, one of the blogs I follow, From IF to When, is one of only 4 nominees for the Team RESOLVE Choice Best Blog Award. This was Katie's reaction (aside from trying to not spit her dinner on the floor):
"Last year, I was shocked to be nominated. This year, I'm floored. I don't blog nearly as much as I used to. I am whiny. I have no infertility success story (yet), and I'm not going through treatments. So, uh, what the hell?"
When I looked at the description on the RESOLVE website about the Best Blog Award, they described what they were looking for as someone "whose blog posts raise awareness about what life is like when you’re faced with infertility." DH and some others have had difficulty understanding how working to raise awareness about infertility fits with posts like this where I'm complaining.
In some ways, that's probably my fault, because, as I looked back at the beginning posts of this blog, I see that I didn't say anything about the purpose of this blog other than that I refuse to be silent about my/our infertility like so many other people. That has left me in the position of having to choose between justifying myself and my posts and telling people that if they don't like it they can screw themselves, which anyone who knows me well can tell you just is not how I do things. Even worse, it has left DH in the position of trying to justify what he doesn't fully understand himself, as some people have addressed their thoughts about the blog to him instead of me.
The wording that RESOLVE uses really struck me as a good description for what I'm trying to do (even if I'm not one of the 4 best people in the country at doing it). I raise awareness about what life is like when you're faced with infertility. I don't raise awareness about what people would like life to be like when you're faced with infertility. I don't put a pretty little bow on infertility to make people feel good about being nice to infertile people/supporting legislation that addresses infertility. I share with people the real, (almost entirely) unvarnished truth about what my life is like facing infertility. Sometimes that includes things that people don't like. Sometimes that includes things that I don't like. Sometimes those two overlap. But whether you or I like them or not, whether they're pretty or not, they are "what life is like when [I am] facing infertility." For people who need their description or understanding of this blog to fit in a neat little box (and there's nothing wrong with needing that, people have different ways of understanding and processing things), here is your neat little box.
I guess I just don't get what the problem is, why anyone would complain to you or DH about your blog. It's a personal blog, about you & your feelings, right? You aren't a company employee representing their line. It's about a painful subject, so since it's basically an online journal, a reader should expect to read about your pain. It's mean to be therapy, I think, & about networking - connecting to others in the same boat & sharing with those who aren't that might have an interest for whatever reason. So whoever thinks they have the right to criticize it is wrong in every way! The only way one should criticize your blog is to just not read it! I'll admit that's what I used to do, before I could handle your pain. I was still in "fix it" mode then. Also, I simply didn't get that part of it was networking, didn't get the whole blog thing back then. Anyway, what I'd like to say to anyone who wants to criticize your blog is - IF YOU HAVEN'T WALKED IN JESSIE'S SHOES FOR ALL OF EVERY MOMENT OF HER LIFE THEN YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO CRITICIZE THIS OR ANYTHING ELSE ABOUT HER!!! In other words, not even as your mother do I have the right. I developed that philosophy early on as a mother when everyone & their brother criticized & underminded me as a mother. I suffered, you kids suffered, your father suffered, & NO ONE WAS THE BETTER FOR IT INCLUDING THOSE WHO CRITICIZED. Thru clenched teeth I used to say, try being me & see how well you'd be handling it. I say the same to all your critics!!!!!!
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