I Feel Stupid

I've been working really hard to not think this cycle would actually happen.  Yeah, turns out that was epic fail.  So now I feel stupid for not having been better at protecting and hardening my heart.

Remember me saying on Thursday that the pre-implantation genetic diagnosis (PGD) lab would now have 3 weeks and 4 days to do what should take 3 weeks?  Well, apparently the lab didn't feel it necessary to tell me that they would *definitely* want samples from all 4 of our parents.  Before it had been that they "might" want the parent samples.  So we have to have the lab FedEx collection kits to the 3 non-local parents (hey, Moms, you two have packages coming!), have them swab the insides of their cheeks, and take the packages to FedEx (or get them picked up) to be shipped back.

Even with overnight shipping each way and samples being taken immediately, that's Friday (if parents get an early enough delivery on Thursday) or Saturday.  And the lab sounded like they wouldn't deal with weekend deliveries until Monday.  And we won't have one of the addresses we need until tomorrow night at best, so that one can't go out until Thursday's mail.  And the probe takes 3 weeks to make.  And to be able to do this cycle, it would need to be done by no later than Saturday April 14.  And my fertility doc actually would want it to be fully made before I start pills.  Which I was going to do this Sunday, since I had been told that I could start the pills before the probe was done, as long as the probe would be done by the 14th.

I could just scream.  I already have fallen apart crying multiple times.  What upsets me the most is that I started trying to get things going with the lab on February 10.  That's when I gave them my insurance info.  I found out on about February 20 that the lab doesn't request authorizations and I would need to do it myself.  After a lot of being passed around, I reached the person I needed with insurance on February 24, and she called my clinic's business office that day to get what she needed.  She finally figured (after multiple calls) that she wasn't going to get a call back and worked around the business office to get the authorization fixed on March 14.  If the woman from the business office could have been bothered to do her job and call the insurance company back right away, I WOULD NOT BE MISSING MY CYCLE!!! There would have been time to get the samples.  Hell, I might could have taken a sample kit to Costa Rica with me and saved the lab some FedEx fees!

Instead I'm in the position of trying to decide whether I want to wait 3 months to cycle or miss one thing or another that's very important to me.