Monday, November 22, 2010

I want to clarify something about my last post.  I wasn't saying that people shouldn't complain or vent about troubles that they have with pregnancy, giving birth, or parenting.  I'm a therapist for heaven's sake...the last thing I'm going to do is tell anyone they shouldn't vent or otherwise express their feelings.  What I'm saying is to be grateful WHILE you vent, the same as when I vent about work or my house, I'm still grateful that I have a job and that my house isn't in foreclosure.  Appreciate the fact that you get to be a parent while you are waiting for that particular negative part to be over.

Also bear in mind, however, that your infertile friend may not be the best person to complain/vent directly to while they're desperately wanting to have that problem.  Before everyone gets upset at me, I'm NOT saying that any of my friends have done that, and I'm NOT saying to avoid posting complaints in public places like Facebook.  You all (and I) have the right to post what we want, and infertile friends (as well as anyone else) have the right and ability to block the posts of people who they like when those people's posts hurt too much to read. (Of course, that comes with its own set of ramifications which relate to why I haven't blocked anyone's posts, as hard as it can be to look at Facebook sometimes.)  All I'm trying to say in this paragraph is, we all have different people in our lives that understand different parts of us and with whom it is natural to talk about different things.  When I'm frustrated about something work-related, it's often a lot more helpful for me and the other person if I vent about it to another social worker or someone else in the general field than if I vent about it to, say, my software-engineer husband.  Similarly, when you're looking to talk to just one person rather than the internet universe or friends list universe about what you're experiencing related to pregnancy, birth, or parenting, sometimes your infertile friend is the best person to talk to anyway because you're just that close to them, and sometimes it's better to talk to another parent.

Again, that last paragraph is talking in generalizations and NOT about any of my friends.  That hasn't been an issue with my friends up to now, and if it starts to become an issue with anyone (which I don't expect), I'll discuss it with that person.  This blog isn't just about what I am experiencing and feeling at any given point, it's also about infertility in general.

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