Wednesday, November 24, 2010

I've been calling my one friend's toddler my birthday buddy or birthday twin since she was born on my birthday 2 years ago.  Today, I got a new birthday buddy.  I was excited to see that she came and that she came on my birthday.  I was happy, and not upset, and I appreciate that.  When I told DH about my new birthday buddy, he asked how I was doing, and I was honestly able to tell him that I was doing fine.  I didn't know how long it would last, but I was sure going to enjoy being fine while it did last. 

I'm not just fine anymore, but I'm not upset or angry or completely depressed either.  I'm still happy and excited for my friend, but pictures have started making their way onto Facebook and it's hard for me to see the pictures.  I'm not trying to say that people shouldn't post them or anything like that.  But it's still hard.

So now I have a mix of excited and difficulty rather than unadulterated excitement.


  1. This is okay to feel that way! I don't have a birthday buddy but I have a little buddy born at the time I lost my ectopic. So every year, it's a reminder and it's hard. I was still bleeding from my loss when I first held her, but somehow it was still Ok. I understand you feeling all over the place!!

  2. You sound really good. You are doing an amazing job handling this and being honest about your feelings. A mix is ok! *hugs*

  3. I'm surprised I'm doing this well, but I'll gladly take what I can get. We'll see how well I'm doing next week when AF comes again.