Tuesday, November 30, 2010
I was talking to someone recently who asked about whether I was truly trying to follow God's plan for my life and my family or whether I was wanting from God what I want when I want it how I want it. That really hurt, because I had told that person before about my prayer life and how I had been asking God from the beginning only for patience until it was His time. I had also told that person when my pastor told me to start asking for a healthy baby in addition to asking for God to work His plan in my life and give me patience. I ended up talking to my pastor after church yesterday to get a sanity check. She reminded me that she had been the one to tell me to ask for a healthy baby and not just for peace. She told me that it was perfectly reasonable to want to feel heard by God. That made me feel a lot better. I do know with my head and my heart that God is listening, but knowing it and experiencing the comfort and peace of FEELING it are two different things. Overall, though, it just especially helped to have that sanity check and hear that I AM praying the way God wants me to, like I thought I was. That person had me feeling all upside down and shaken up, and now I feel more normal (as much as I can, given everything).